Never mind all these schemes for loft and cavity wall installation most of which are a scam anyway. The government should pay for every house in the UK to have solar panels fitted and make it law that new builds must have solar panel roofs. They never will because the energy industry will resist it as it will eat into their profits.

Wondering how many contractors are queuing up for rebuilding contracts in Ukraine?

Emily Davison didn't chuck herself under a horse so that you lazy feckers could sit on your arse and say: "What's the point of voting?" Get it sorted! Go and vote! You can spare 5 minutes of your day.

Local elections in the United Kingdom will be held on 5 May 2022

Took Charlie to the park this morning. Fairly cold, -1C but enjoyed meeting the fellow dog walkers until we were nearly on our way out of the park and a woman I've not seen for a while said: "Have you retired now?"

Do I look that old?

I might start quoting in Guineas.

Friday night, I fancied a beer. "I know; I have a bottle sitting in the cupboard." I poured out the "Old speckled dog bollock", or whatever it was called and then thought: "Hmm? It's been there a while?" Too right! "Best before Jan 2020!" I bet I bought it in 2018.

Saturday night: I'll have me a Margarita. "Best before Feb 2021"
Thank The Pond Gods my Bushmills is OK.

I am on to a winner today. I definitely know the wife is at the hairdresser's; therefore, for once, as a man, know to walk in the door and say: "Ooh, your hair looks nice." which means brownie points for me unless she hates her hair and then I'm deep in the doggy doo doo. 😟

And to think I was dead jealous of anyone that owned an HTC.

Always in the top four, I've finally found a home where I'm appreciated. # #

One of the guys has just had his new Samsung S22 delivered and it's PINK!
"But it says Red!"
It's Pink :-D
I have very dry lips today for some reason?

FFS! It sounds like a mule eating pellets out of a nose bag. What are you eating?

Is there some sort of by-law that says shops in retail parks cannot open until mid-morning on a Saturday!? If you don't want to push people online, I suggest retailers open at 9 am, oh, and Currys PC World; I recommend you get rid of the Brand Name assistants who can only help you with their brand.

And you. May The Pond Gods bring you what you truly deserve today.

That moment you enter a room and you mention out loud a task to be done and a member of staff leaps out their chair full of excuses why they can't do it and then the director overhears and tells them to do it to which they start f'ing and jeffing all over the place.

Currently logged on to but can't think of any channels I fancy entering for the minute.

Praying to The Pond Gods that # 2023 is a physical event. 🙏

I'm thinking of setting up an email address of for all those sales calls with "Can I get an email address?" in them.

Hang on? I work in sales!

The females at # have started watching Game of Thrones again from the beginning. I now have that damn theme tune in my head.

Your "Loading" animation is incredibly annoying when the application doesn't tell me what the hell it is trying to do that it is clearly having a problem with!

Here's a challenge: One of our customers has a hosted VOIP system from us. They have 10 options to choose from when you call them, TEN! what's the most you've come across?

So I got the Nokia N810 going again, had to buy a battery as the old one only held a charge for two minutes. Sadly, it's pointless as every website the browser complains "ssl_error_no_cypher_overlap" 😞

Today we shall be having a Bob Marley Sunday dinner at # ♫ ♪ "Three little birds." ♬ ♩

Oi @tigg
Trying to resurrect an old friend.

Hands up all those who have had said to them: "You never phone [write, Text]" nine times out of ten those complaining never phone either!

Next time someone says to you, "We'll you need to comment on peoples posts on #, reply "When they start commenting on my posts.." :-D

I am very surprised the Russians have not taken down all forms of communication in Ukraine?

Those bottom ones look like Pigs in Blankets!

I need to write to my MP and ask him to produce a Bill for The House, making it mandatory that the 1st of every month always falls on a Monday! I just rang my doctor's to apologise for missing an appointment, and after grovelling to the receptionist, she replied. "𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘔𝘳 𝘊𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘯." Doh! 🤦‍♂️

The best thing Volodymyr Zelenskyy can do now is surrender or leave the country to save further pointless bloodshed.

In 2016 I bet that we would stay in the EU. I was wrong along with 48% of the rest of the country.

If only Margaret Thatcher were still alive. She'd soon sort the Russians out!

The obvious next choice for Putin would be Moldovia, but that's too obvious. I'd put my money on either Estonia, Latvia or Lithuania. Maybe Belarus will invade Lithuania on Moscow's behalf?

Waiting for a reply to an email is such a PITA, especially when you need to know if everything you've done this morning was a complete waste of time or not.

You know, this Russia/Ukraine pantomime reminds me of Gleiwitz and the Cuban crises all rolled into one, only this time nobody is rushing out and building bunkers.

Storm? What storm? I've seen more wind after a Vindaloo!

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