We will shake up Britain's police force. We will introduce Civil Guards along the lines of Spain, etc. They will handle low-level issues like parking tickets, petty vandalism, pickpocketing and muggings, and lost hamsters. They will be armed with pepper spray and batons. Most importantly, they'll pound the beat so that the public can see what they're getting for their taxes. They'll have next to no vehicles.

Next will be the Ordinary Police. They'll handle more serious stuff like murders, robberies, Saturday night yobs and people with the wrong kind of haircut. They might pound the beat now and again. They will have vehicles, but these will mostly be transit vans. We'll take most of the high-performance, expensive vehicles off them. They will be equipped with pepper spray, batons, and possibly kazoos.

Finally, we'll have a paramilitary force. These will be ex-military, armed to the teeth with firearms, etc. They will deal with the most dangerous stuff, such as people criticising our policies. They can have tanks if they want.